The Chronicles of Eve – excerpt


Eighteen months earlier. It is late afternoon, into evening. Two sleeping bags are arranged in a line, suggesting bunks. They clearly belong to boys. EVE, ALEX, and ALEX, and are sitting around. Girl ALEX is a young woman, maybe a little younger than EVE herself, although wise in many respects, she has a temper and a bite to her that is difficult to love. Boy-ALEX is younger than EVE and older than girl-ALEX. He is built for a different era, an era of craftsmanship and labor, not of computers and convenience.They are all camp counselors at Atlantic Adventures Summer Camp. There are trunks of their belongings, maybe a binder filled with papers, flyers, a calendar of events. They are all drinking a couple illicit 40ʼs of beer. An empty is set up, spin the bottle fashion. It has landed on Eve.Thereʼs a camping lantern. The same sound of the ocean is heard.

girl-ALEX : … and that, kiddos, is why I donʼt believe “sluts” as you call them exist. Its as crazy a concept as Santa or war bonds.

boy-ALEX : Okay! I take back what I said about Sarah.

girl-ALEX : Thank you. Youʼre evolving.

boy-ALEX : Sure. Alright, Eve. Truth or dare?

EVE : Truth.

girl-ALEX : Really, always? Youʼre never going to pick dare?

EVE : We canʼt have two people missing for dares.

girl-ALEX : Chicken.

boy-ALEX : Chicken? What are you, Alex, six? Anyway, Eve, umm… Whatʼs the most embarrassing thing youʼve ever been caught doing?

EVE : Um. Picking my nose?

boy-ALEX : Veto! Veto?

girl-ALEX : Veto. Think about it.

EVE : (pause) Well, when I was little. I made this fort underneath my dining room table. And I liked, lived in there. I wouldnʼt come out. My grand-pere had to like, bring me dinner and stuff. But there wasnʼt a bathroom in there and, well, I was a fan of fruit juice…

girl-ALEX : Veto veto veto! We get it. Eww. Thanks for sharing. Next.

(She spins the bottle. It lands on herself.)

boy-ALEX : Alright….

girl-ALEX : Dare.

boy-ALEX : Kiss. Eve. On the lips. Her penalty for a lame Truth answer.

girl-ALEX : Oooh, a classic. Game?

EVE : Uhh. Yeah. Whatever.

girl-ALEX (takes a pull off her beer) Cʼmere sugar lips.

(Girl Alex and Eve kiss. It is long and slow, and the ocean is heard behind it.)

boy-ALEX : Whelp. That just happened.

girl-ALEX : Keep it in your pants. (Takes another pull of beer.)

EVE : My mouth tastes that gross?

girl-ALEX : Absolutely not, Iʼm just feeling victorious.

EVE : Why? It was dare.

girl-ALEX : You are the most decent human being I have ever had the pleasure to kiss.

EVE : Why, thanks.

girl-ALEX (as boy-Alex spins): Too bad the bar was so low.

boy-ALEX:  (Spins. It lands on himself) Damn, I have a gift for doing that.

EVE : Truth or Dare, Alex?

boy-ALEX : Dare. Wait. … I did dare last time. But I guess Michaelʼs gone on one now. Truth?

EVE : It doesnʼt matter. What I have planned works for both.

girl-ALEX : Oh my lord. Eve, are you being devious?

EVE : Maybe. Alex, take your backpack and empty out every single item.

boy-ALEX : Uh, sure?

(He does so. It is a fairly normal packers backpack. Gear, power bars, changes of clothing. Some papers and paperback books. A towel.)

EVE : Iʼm testing a theory.

boy-ALEX : Wait. You guys have a theory about me?

girl-ALEX : Yeah, itʼs that you ride bareback on twelve year olds. (Picks up a condom.) Whoops. Never mind.

EVE : Youʼre a maniac. Ohh! A Gameboy! With Pokemon Red! This is awesome.

boy ALEX : I know.

EVE : Wow, donʼt let the kids get their hands on this.

(girl-ALEX is playing with a utility knife)

girl-ALEX: Or this either.

EVE: (picks up a battered folder) Found it! “College Applications.”

girl-ALEX: Really, Eve? Thatʼs what you were looking for? Wait, I take that back. Really, Alex? You brought applications to camp?

boy-ALEX: Yeah. Eve, way to go to for the way most boring thing in the backpack.

girl-ALEX: Most boring? Is that so? Open it. Wait-

(She already has.)

EVE: Itʼs just movie tickets. I donʼt believe someone can go to the movies as often as this!

girl-ALEX: Huh?

EVE: Iʼm just kidding. Cʼmon, Glass Menagerie, anyone? Sophomore year? Anyway, itʼs actually filled with highlighted maps and printouts of dollar conversions for euro, pounds and…. yen? So, business school instead? Oh, and in your “SAT Two” manila folder, – nice sharpie work, by the way – thereʼs a copy of… On The Road?

girl-ALEX:  So, instead of going to college youʼre going to drop acid and go boxcar hopping?

boy-ALEX: Yes. Absolutely.

EVE: Okay, seriously. I thought you were applying all spring. All winter. You studied like a fiend. I mean, a lot. You were the only one of us who was actually going somewhere! This is one convoluted lie, my friend. You were going to rock the world. Environmental legislation, politics, betterment of man. What is this?

boy-ALEX : I did apply, Eve.

EVE : So what is this?

boy-ALEX : This is for myself, for once. Jesus Christ! I didnʼt want anyone to know about it, Eve. At least not yet.

girl-ALEX : Hey, itʼs alright. Weʼre gonna love you no matter how much of a lying bastard you are. Whatʼs going on?

boy-ALEX : I cancelled all of my applications.

EVE : Why?

boy-ALEX : Because I didnʼt feel ready. I had all of these grand ideas. I still do want… to save the world, or whatever I can. But Iʼm just a kid. My older brothers ran themselves ragged trying to be everything at once. As soon as I felt myself getting into that rut, that, four hours of homework a night and two more of college applications… I hated it. Iʼm not ready. I want to be young for as long as I can, okay? I want to live? That sounds kind of gross but itʼs true. Everyone else is rolling down the tracks laid down for them. By whom? Why? Weʼre young and free and donʼt owe anyone anything. I donʼt see a reason to give that up. Why canʼt I hold on to that for a while?


girl-ALEX : Holy shit. Heʼs a hipster.

EVE (Hugs boy ALEX.) Whatever you think is best.

(MICHAEL rushes in, he is drenched in seawater, wearing nothing but soaked boxers. He is attractive, and much older than all of his friends. He feels protective of them most of the time. He looks as if his life has been hard, and his humor is strained. He breathes like heʼs been sprinting. He dives for boy Alexʼs towel thatʼs on the floor, and wraps it around his torso. They applaud him.)

MICHAEL : SHHHH!! Shut up! (They do.) Shit guys. Sorry to say, no more dares. Coach Neal saw me come back.

boy-ALEX : (Hushed, and trying to hide the beers.) Fuck, is he here?

MICHAEL : No, I shook him off by the showers.

EVE : What happened?

MICHAEL : (pulls on a shirt quickly, voice low.) Coach was having, I dunno, a fucking constitutional stroll or some shit and saw me – afterward, thank god, come back up the trail. Scared the shit out of me. I told him I left one of the rosters by the picnic area at the beach. He bought it.

EVE : Makes sense. Heʼs not supposed to be out either. Arenʼt they having, like, a faculty meeting?

MICHAEL : Didnʼt see anyone else but him.

girl-ALEX : Close call dude.

MICHAEL : No shit. No more skinny dipping. No more dares.

EVE : Do you think we should head back, Alex? I mean, technically weʼre not supposed to be in the boy cabins at all.

girl-ALEX : But… the beer! We have beer!

boy-ALEX : Yeah, stay. Weʼve gotta polish this off. Thereʼs only fourteen sweet more hours until the little shits arrive.

EVE : Donʼt badmouth the campers. You were one of them too. We all were.

boy-ALEX : Kidding. Kidding.

girl-ALEX : Yeah, lets chill. Weʼll keep playing truth or… I guess more truth. Its what we were basically doing without you anyway.

MICHAEL : Hey, what is this mess?

EVE : I dared boy Alex to empty out his backpack, entirely.

MICHAEL : (looks for some papers) Oooh. And? Did you find anything? Were we right?

EVE : Oh yeah. Youʼre a right pair of dropout bums.

MICHAEL : Welcome to the club. This is what you do when you donʼt go to college, my dear friend. You end up counselor of Atlantic Adventures Summer Camp for six years straight.

girl-ALEX : Yup, I guess weʼre `leaving higher education to the girls. Well, as much as community college can be called education.

MICHAEL : I guess weʼre not in such bad company. Weʼre all underachievers!

girl-ALEX : I prefer … self-motivated intellectuals.

MICHAEL : See? Bums. Except for Eve.

EVE : Iʼm going to CC too.

girl-ALEX : Yeah, but you didnʼt fabricate anything about Ivy Leagues and law school. You didnʼt need to have a melodramatic life-changing crisis about your future.

boy-ALEX : Thank you lord, for these my friends, which I am lucky enough to receive.

MICHAEL : Alright, are we spinning this bottle or what?

girl-ALEX : As much as I love the old classic-eighties-movie party-games routine, Iʼm not a fan of more truth. What else could we possibly know about each other? Michaelʼs a bum, boy Alexʼs is on his way to the first time heʼs ever disappointed his mother, Iʼm an oversexed feminist freak, and Eveʼs adorable.

EVE : Iʼm sure thereʼs plenty. Youʼre just bitter because you didnʼt know about Alexʼs renegade tendencies.

boy-ALEX : No one was supposed to know.

MICHAEL : But we did suspect.

EVE : So Iʼm sure thereʼs more to learn.

boy-ALEX : Yeah, lets learn why Michael is suddenly broke now.

MICHAEL : Christ guys, Iʼve been buying you guys beer since you could stand the taste. I donʼt get one weekend off?

girl-ALEX : Heʼs right, though. – Cheers, Alex, by the way – Youʼre always loaded.

MICHAEL : Well, I officially pass off the mantel to you. Hey. Isnʼt it Eveʼs turn now?

EVE : Yeah. Yeah. Um… Truth.

girl-ALEX : Yes darling. Lessee…. When was the first time you sucked a guy off?

boy-ALEX : You are just the pinnacle of class.

girl-ALEX : More specifically, sucked Jason off. Unless youʼre hiding away a French fling from all of us.

EVE : Actually-

girl-ALEX : And if thatʼs the case, I take back that truth and ask you to explain that one instead.

EVE : Actually, I never have. Simple answer. Next.

MICHAEL : But you dated that Jason dude, for like… seven months! What did you even do?

EVE : (Spins the bottle idly, it lands on boy ALEX while sheʼs talking.) I dunno. Talked. Made out. Heavy petting. It just never went any farther than that. No reason, just didnʼt.

girl-ALEX : Well, isnʼt that a shame. Youʼve killed like six hours of juicy conversation with a quick clean stab to the heart. Next up, Alex Morrigan.

MICHAEL : I got this. Alex, if you could swap lives with anyone, living or dead, who would you pick?

girl-ALEX :  Al Gore. Pssh.

boy-ALEX : I donʼt know. John Muir, I guess. All he did was hike around Yosemite and drink tea and talk with Teddy Roosevelt. Theodore, by the way, he hated the name Teddy. Muir wrote some interesting things. Didnʼt have any status quo. Just decided to go for a very long walk in the woods one day. Never had to answer to anyone but his own thoughts. Saw more of America than anyone else at the time.

EVE : Lovely.

girl-ALEX : You should ask Eve to stow you away in her luggage when she jets off again. (a battle cry) To France!

boy-ALEX : Iʼve thought about it. Who hasnʼt? The European escape. Wait a couple of years, and only phone home when Iʼm elected minister of something or other.

girl-ALEX : Drinking fine wine, seeing fine sights.

MICHAEL : Spend all day sitting around looking serious and reading Proust.

EVE : Guys. I never jet off anywhere.

MICHAEL : Eve. We know. And I just mean, it feels like you are the only one whoʼs been farther then a dozen miles from here. Youʼre the only one with a passport for Christssakes.

EVE : Its not like that, okay? I went to Paris like, ONCE when I was NINE. I am not some super worldly army brat or anything, okay?

girl-ALEX : Say something in French.

EVE : Putain de merde.

girl-ALEX : Perfection. Look, Iʼm sorry for romanticizing a world with free health care, free college education, and none of these shitty American puritan hangups.

MICHAEL : And off she goes. Are we gonna make it to the basic human right of nudity again?

girl-ALEX : Youʼre the one who was so eager to continue the basic human right of skinny-dipping. But I suppose it shouldnʼt have to be a dare per se. Thats my beef. This country is obsessed with rugged individualism but be sure to cover-up ʻcause God said so. While more civilized countries have a more humanist set of priorities-

boy-ALEX : Please someone, stop her.

MICHAEL : Sorry.

EVE : Look, I donʼt really know anything about that. I mean, no more than any one of us. Like I said, I was nine. No grand sights. No Proust. Just a lot of family and hospitals and hot chocolate from a vending machine. (laughs) I think that vending machine is the strongest impression I got from the City of Light.

boy-ALEX :  Awww. So cute.

girl-ALEX : Well, thats a shame.

MICHAEL : (Spins the bottle, it lands on girl Alex.) Its understandable. We all know. Kids donʼt get it sometimes. Or they get the wrong things.

boy-ALEX : Just different things. Anyway, Alex is just stalling because itʼs her turn to answer next.

girl-ALEX : Never. Lay it on me.

MICHAEL : Alright. Truth. Honest to god truth. What happened last Friday when Coach Neal had you do paperwork for him?

boy-ALEX : For two hours.

MICHAEL : Then you showered afterwards.

EVE : Huh?

(Alex doesnʼt answer. Drinks something.)

MICHAEL :  Jesus Christ. If this is why blowjobs were on your mind…

girl-ALEX : Wait. No. Not that. Not ever.

MICHAEL Thank God.


girl-ALEX : We fucked.

boy-ALEX : What! What did you think he meant?!

girl-ALEX : I thought he meant that Coach coerced me into something. Like… bj for perks or something. Some sort of sexual-harrasment-in-the-workplace deal. Nope. He is a fairly attractive man, and Iʼve been into him since …I dunno… freshman year? And now Iʼm legal. This was an equal exchange of pleasure.

MICHAEL : Jesus Christ. Girl. Heʼs like forty.

boy-ALEX : And married!

girl-ALEX : And I have brown eyes and the sky is blue. Weʼre gonna be done with facts soon, right? It was fine.

EVE : Sheʼs got a point.

MICHAEL : You have to stop this, Alex. Youʼre corrupting the innocent.

boy-ALEX : No. Thereʼs no point, Eve. Itʼs dangerous and stupid.

MICHAEL : And what about all of those high and mighty feminist ideals of yours?

girl-ALEX : Seriously? Now you care about those? Just so you know, my free and uninhibited sex life fits exactly, part in part, with my “high and mighty feminist ideals.” Which is what Eve would back me up on, if youʼd stop thinking she was an idiot long enough to let her say a whole thought. I thought you… I thought weʼd… fuck it. Forget it.

boy-ALEX : Weʼre gonna worry about you.

girl-ALEX : It wonʼt happen again.

EVE : Is it Michaelʼs turn again?

girl-ALEX : I need to leave. Fuck this, fuck you. Eve, lets go to bed.

EVE : Hey, lets not go like this. We wonʼt mention it again.

girl-ALEX : I can see it in their faces. I have single handedly ruined this night, so itʼs the least I can do to leave. Stay if you want.

(She leaves. Her silhouette is seen outside the tent. Maybe smoking.)

MICHAEL : That girl.


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